Pride for Today

I was really tearing it up today with "getting stuff done".  And WOW, did it feel good; so good I started to pat myself on the back and think, you've sure pulled it together today, Girlie. The folks coming over tonight are going to be impressed that the dishes are actually done and the floors clean.  Then, I was convicted. Hard. Memories of some hard lessons learned while overseas in another time and place all came back to me; it was sobering and so, so good.

I asked myself exactly where I thought my pride and identity lie.  Did I really believe that my identity lies in how clean my house is? NO!  A thousand times no!  We will never find true satisfaction and fulfillment to the depths of our souls when we seek it in how busy we are.  Seriously.... I can be busy 18 hours a day doing all kinds of things from cleaning to cooking.  It gets messy again, and I get frustrated. Why? Because I'm looking for something cooking and cleaning cannot give. A sense of identity.

My life overseas was a unique role of mother, community development worker, friend, counselor, mentor, teacher, wife and many others.  However, my salvation, pride, nor identity was not in how well I could cope each day with no water or electricity. That is simply sanctimonious bologna.  I could counsel a hundred crisis situations- from mothers bringing their dying children to my door, to neighbors seeking shelter from their husbands beating them- but that is not where I needed to take my identity from.  I am more than that, and you are too.  Do you think you are more sanctified if you cook fancy meals? And even more so if you strive for perfection in how healthy and nutritious that are, Moms??  Dads, are you so wrapped up in your work that you find it as your sole source of pride and motivation?  Students, how much are your grades tied into how good you feel about yourself?  I know that is certainly one I can say I struggle with fairly consistently.  Artificial sources of identity are found in so many places: habits, works, good deeds, friendships, what church you go to, associations, talents, and certainly money.  But, outside of Christ ALONE, there is NO source of true identity for us.  We are made in His image, if you claim His Son as Savior, you are His and He lives through you to BE your identity, strength, source of contentment, fulfillment and pride.

Don't get me wrong.  Everything from going overseas in the first place for me and most of the things I do today are BECAUSE of that truth.  I have to constantly remind myself that outside of that motivation,  my clean floor (a once in a while phenomenon) is not WHO I am. The "A" I may get in a class is an expression of his calling on my life at this time.  My kids' performance, my husband's job or position, my friendships, are all only but an outpouring of His provision given as gifts, NOT ways to edify myself.

Grace,

SteppeSister