WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 30, 2009
I've been thinking for several days now about what to write about, and today, at our Christmas party with the office staff, it came to me. Well, actually, the topic sprung out of what we talked about during this party. The topic of love. Not exactly love, but expressing it.
Out of the blue, one of the guys (he's maybe 26) asked The Water Guy if he told me that he loved me. HUH!!?? Did we understand the question right? Of course we tell each other we love one another. It's natural, it's something we do every everday, sometimes even, gasp, more than once!! Imagine that!... telling someone WITH WORDS that you love them. Believe it or not, people in this culture do not say it; to their kids, to their spouses, parents or anyone else.
We were flabbergasted that people go through their whole lives without hearing those most important of words after they are about 4 or 5 years old.
We probed the reasons, and they came up with these:
1) We just don't hear it from our parents, so we didn't learn how.
2) Parents are afraid that if children hear it too much they will become spoiled or bratty.
3) After not practicing it, they feel uncomfortable or somehow embarrassed about saying "I love you".
4) They are afraid too, of rejection.
5) It is quite possible that they value other ways of expressing their love more highly. They did say that they know their parents love them, for example, but that they show it by giving gifts, or caring for them through basic care.
After some minutes, we asked our friends if saying "I love you" or hearing it was important. Everyone of them said yes, and that in their families they are trying to change things. 4 of the people at this party are young parents and they are beginning to hug their kids and speak those words to them everyday.
Coincidentally, at another party we went to on Christmas Evening, everyone in turn gave a reflection from the las year and a blessing to the party. When it was The Water Guy's turn he stood up, walked over to where I was sitting, took my hand, pulled me up, and blessed me publicly. You should have seen the mouths fly open. There were even snickers around the room, and one lady went on and on about how she's never seen that done, that husbands would never do that in their culture, and expressing love like that was just so odd and foreign to them.
If we have shown the value of telling and showing love to one another, then all our years of living here have been worth it!! It is said in a "VERY Good Book" they will know what you believe by how you love one another.
Have you told someone that you love them today??
Love,
Your SteppeSister
Out of the blue, one of the guys (he's maybe 26) asked The Water Guy if he told me that he loved me. HUH!!?? Did we understand the question right? Of course we tell each other we love one another. It's natural, it's something we do every everday, sometimes even, gasp, more than once!! Imagine that!... telling someone WITH WORDS that you love them. Believe it or not, people in this culture do not say it; to their kids, to their spouses, parents or anyone else.
We were flabbergasted that people go through their whole lives without hearing those most important of words after they are about 4 or 5 years old.
We probed the reasons, and they came up with these:
1) We just don't hear it from our parents, so we didn't learn how.
2) Parents are afraid that if children hear it too much they will become spoiled or bratty.
3) After not practicing it, they feel uncomfortable or somehow embarrassed about saying "I love you".
4) They are afraid too, of rejection.
5) It is quite possible that they value other ways of expressing their love more highly. They did say that they know their parents love them, for example, but that they show it by giving gifts, or caring for them through basic care.
After some minutes, we asked our friends if saying "I love you" or hearing it was important. Everyone of them said yes, and that in their families they are trying to change things. 4 of the people at this party are young parents and they are beginning to hug their kids and speak those words to them everyday.
Coincidentally, at another party we went to on Christmas Evening, everyone in turn gave a reflection from the las year and a blessing to the party. When it was The Water Guy's turn he stood up, walked over to where I was sitting, took my hand, pulled me up, and blessed me publicly. You should have seen the mouths fly open. There were even snickers around the room, and one lady went on and on about how she's never seen that done, that husbands would never do that in their culture, and expressing love like that was just so odd and foreign to them.
If we have shown the value of telling and showing love to one another, then all our years of living here have been worth it!! It is said in a "VERY Good Book" they will know what you believe by how you love one another.
Have you told someone that you love them today??
Love,
Your SteppeSister
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